Inxoxo zama lobola | Stangen

Isiko lokukhokha ilobolo lijwayelekile emhlabeni jikelele. Kuphela nje, kungenzeka ukuthi kwenziwa ngezindlela ezihlukile kwamanye amazwe. Emphakathini wanamuhla, ukulobola kuhlanganisa imindeni emibili, futhi kubonisa ukuthi umkhweyana uzokhona ukusekela umakoti wakhe mabehlala ndawonye. Noma lelisiko lihambisana nempikiswano, abalandeli balo bayalithanda futhi balihlonipha kakhulu. Kubonakala kuyindlela yokuhlanganisa imndeni embili; kwakhiwe ubudlelwano ngaphambi kokuthi kushadwe. 

Kuningi ekumele ukucabange namhlanje njengokuhluka kwamasiko, ubudlelwane bobuhlanga, isimo somnotho ezweni lakithi kanye nemibono ephikisanayo. Ngibone kuwumqondo omuhle ukuthi ngikhulume nabantu abahlukile, ngizwe ukuthi indaba ye-lobolo yabaphatha kanjani.

Funda nazi izindaba!

Unkosikazi wami wasiza ekukhokheni i-lobolo 

“Sinonkosikazi wami besesikade saqala ukukhuluma ngokushada. Besingakaze sisho ngokuphelele ukuthi sesifisa kwenzeke, kodwa kwakusobala ukuthi yinto ebesiyifisa sobabili. Besizibona sishadile, siqala impilo yethu ndawonye. 

Inkinga eyabakhona yinye nje vo; bengishoda ngemali yamalobolo. Ngaphandle kwe-lobolo, kwakuzomele ngiphinde ngibhekane no-membeso, u-mbondo, umabo kanye nomshado wethu wesilungu. Ngangizimisele kakhulu ngokumthatha ngimshade, kodwa iphakethe lami lalingakavumi. 

Kwahamba isikhathi ngabona ukuthi kumele ngibe neqiniso kumaqondana wami. Kwakumele ngimchazele ukuthi yini isifiso sami, nokuthi yini engibambezelayo. Wangimangaza kabi esethi kade waqala ukubeka imali yomshado wethu. Waphinda wathi uzimisele ngokungisiza ngemali yamalobolo. 

Emaqinisweni, kwakungeyona into elula engangi ngayivuma, kodwa nencidezi engangifakelwa yona emndenini yayisingiphatha kabi. Ngagcina ngivumile ukuthi angisize, selokhu kwaba imfihlo yethu.” – Mzamo 

Impi yamasiko

“Inselelo enkulu kubudlelwane bobuhlanga ukuhluka kwamasiko. Njengoba ngiyindoda eyiNdiya, ngiphuma emndenini onamasiko ajulile, kakhulukazi emshadweni. Ngenxa yalokhu, isinqumo sami sokuthi ngishade intombi yomZulu senza ngihlangabezane nezinye izinkinga. 

Umndeni wami usalandela lelisiko ekuthiwa i-dowry. Lelisiko lisho ukuthi umndeni waka-makoti kumele bakhokhe imali thizeni, bekhokhela umndeni waka-mkhwenyana. Lelisiko lifana kakhulu ne-lobolo. Njengoba kulindeleke, ukushayisana kamasiko kwadala izinxabano phakathi kwemindeni yethu. 

Emuva kokuxoxisana nokubonisana, sakwazi ukudlula kuleso siphazamiso. Namhlanje, sekuphele iminyaka eyisikhombisa sishadile futhi sesinabantwana ababili. Konke lokhu okwenzeka ekuqaleni komshado wethu, sekwaphenduka ihlaya elikhulu emndenini wethu!” – Joash

Ngacelwa ukuthi ngingalilethi ilobolo

“Ngiyindoda yomXhosa eshade nomLungu, emthanda kakhulu unkosikazi wayo. Ukuthandana kwethu kwahlangabezana nobukhulu ubunzima, kodwa sakwazi ukudlula lapho ngenxa yothando lwethu. 

Ubunzima esahlangabezana nabo babungenxa yabantu bangaphandle, hayi umndeni. Imindeni yethu yayisisekela kakhulu. Emuva kokuthi ngicele umkami ukuthi angishade, ubaba wami waqala wakhathazeka ngendaba yamalobolo. Umndeni we-nkosikazi yami wawungathandi ukuthi sikhokhe i-lobolo, bengafuni kube khona imali esiyikhokhayo sithi sikhokhela indodakazi yabo. Ngapha, owami umndeni wawufuna ukwenza yonke into ngendlela efanele yakwa-Xhosa. 

Emuva kwesikhathi, savumelana ngokuthi ngeke likhokhwe i-lobolo, kodwa ngisho kunjalo, ngazihambisa izipho kumndeni wakhe. Ngabona isidingo sokuthi ngiwubonge kahle umndeni wakhe ngokungikhulisela yena. Sonke sagcina sijabulile.” – Vuyisani & Ella

Njengoba izwe lethu lizimisele ngokugubha ukuhlukahluka kwethu, kuhle ukubona ukuthi abantu bayakwazi ukuhlangana, bakhe ubuhlobo obuhle futhi bahloniphe amasiko ekungawona awabo. 

Ngokufunda izidindaba ezibhalwe ngenhla, siyabona ukuthi ngothando nenhlonipho, abantu bangakwazi ukuzwana egameni lokubungaza into enhle futhi enemthelelo emihle.

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